Sunday, 20 September 2009

An interview with VP, Edward Cullen...

I rapped on Edward’s office door and didn’t wait for a response before striding in, a pen stuck in the back of my messy bun. His head snapped up to protest at the intrusion upon his sacred privacy, but his mouth snapped shut as I sat on the edge of his desk, pulling the pen from my bun and snatching his steno pad from his workstation. Pushing my glasses up on my nose, I crossed my barely covered legs, allowing them hang down next to his chair and let them swing, almost hypnotizing him with their movement.

Right where I wanted him.

VAJWET: I believe, Mr. Cullen, we have an interview today?

Edward: A…an interview? I don’t remember… Was this on my schedule? (punches keys in a panic, pulling up his Outlook). God I hate it when…

VAJWET: (putting hand over crazed typing hands) Relax, we do.

Edward: OK… Um, what is this about?

VAJWET: Just relax and play along. Like when I put on the cheerleading uniform and you…

Edward: *blushes* Yeah. Um. But no questions about that. Unless, of course, you have it with you and you’re going to put it on. Because I have my helmet and my shoulder pads in the closet…

VAJWET: No, Mr. Cullen. Some questions first, all right?

Edward: Alright, then.

VAJWET: I understand that you are the Vice President of Cullen Robotics. Now, you’re the youngest son, so why would Carlisle Cullen make you the Vice President, second only to him?

Edward: Well, I do have a law degree from Harvard, and engineering degree from Berkley and an MBA I got concurrently.

VAJWET: But your brothers are similarly well educated…

Edward: *sighing* Probably because my father assumed that I would be the one who would allow work to be my life. Because I didn’t… before… I didn’t… really… date….

VAJWET: And why is that, Edward?

Edward: I was too busy. And… and most women are so vapid and … I can’t STAND untoward ladies and with my family’s money…

VAJWET: On with the questions, shall we?

Edward: *smirking* Will I be receiving some… reward for my compliance?

VAJWET: If you answer my questions, that is a good possibility. How do you feel about cowgirls?

Edward: *sucks in breath* Fair enough.

VAJWET: Ok, our first question comes from Jess. She would like to know what it was, in your past, that made you such a… how shall I say this… prude?

Edward: I’m not a prude!

VAJWET: Currently, no. But, you have showed rather… conservative… behavior in the past.

Edward: It’s not my fault that Emmett used to make me watch porn with women on leashes and Jasper had the amazing habit of managing to put the centerfold of the month on the front of my locker from 6th grade on until every person in school called me a pervert when really I didn’t even lose my virginity until I was 21!

VAJWET: Wow. Remind me to talk to you about counseling later. Moving on. Victoria would like to know why it is that you have been such an outspoken opponent of the Bot project.

Edward: I’m not… er, I wasn’t. Business-wise, it’s a cutting edge project with the prospect of being extremely lucrative for Cullen Robotics both financially and in reputation. My problem with the project has always been you, Apple.

VAJWET: What about my involvement in the project, Edward?

Edward: You… you’re… YOU! You should be courted and worshipped and treated like a goddess. Dinner and romance and poetry and… not riding some machinery. *shudders*

VAJWET: You do know that sometimes a girl just needs a good poke, right?

Edward: Sacrilege when it comes to you, love.

VAJWET: *rolls eyes* OK, so you’re jealous of the bots?

Edward: No… I mean, yes, in a way, but no.

VAJWET: I’m not even going to try. Next question – how do you really feel about your brothers and your father?

Edward: Well, Emmett is just Emmett. There is no other way to describe him. I’m considering submitting him as an adjective the next time Miriam Webster updates her tome. He’s a pain in my ass, speaks without thinking, has an awful temper, but is also one of the kindest, most warm-hearted brothers I could ask for and is surprisingly intelligent.

Jasper is a lesson in contradiction. He’s probably the most even-tempered, laid back, unflappable person I know… he could probably stand in front of a firing squad and crack a joke and light a smoke while talking up his executioner… but he’s also viciously smart and extremely good at manipulating people to get his way.

Carlisle, well, before mom died, he was the model husband and father. Now…. Well, he’s always there for counsel and is one of the wisest men I know, but Jesus did his libido skyrocket. It’s unnerving…

VAJWET: And what do you think of the women in the lab?

Edward: All of you, of them, are fucking brilliant. I don’t know what my father did to find 6 women with that much brainpower and…


Edward: Well, it’s not often that you find one woman with a brain that could rival the best on the planet and bodies… *blushing*. It’s just not a common thing. I love them all. One in particular.

VAJWET: Why, Mr. Cullen, are you running your hand up my thigh?

Edward: Hmmm…

VAJWET: More questions. Victoria would like to know if you love your new mummy.

Edward: *groans* Certainly, Carlisle is not going to insist…

VAJWET: If Victoria asks, I’d say you’d bet your sweet ass he will…

Edward: *slams head into desk and mutters* I like mummy fine.

VAJWET: Okay then. Last question. The ladies want to know what you’re packing.

Edward: *quirks brow* Packing?

VAJWET: *rolls eyes* Baby, they want to know the size of your cock….

Edward: Erect or not erect?

VAJWET: Let’s try this. Remember last night? When I was working on specs for a project, leaning over my desk in just pink cheekies and nothing else?

Edward: *loosens tie and adjusts pants* Yes…..

VAJWET: And then I dropped to my knees for a “study break” and…

Edward: YESS…

VAJWET: Ok, so now? What size is it now?

Edward: *popping cock out* Approximately the length from your lips to mid-esophagus…

VAJWET: Jesus…

VAJWET was unable to complete interview due to enhanced dimensional analysis of The Vice President of Cullen Robotics cock using anatomical comparative methods. Like how much fit before he couldn’t fit anymore….

In the future, VAJWET will attempt to send another interviewer who does not go pantiless and ride her boss on a regular basis.

Saturday, 19 September 2009

An Interview With Jasper

I sat in Jasper’s chair behind his desk, doodling dirty pictures on my notepad. My skirt was perfectly pressed and my hair elegant and neat, the picture of prim and proper. Jasper enters, humming lightly to himself when he spots me in place behind his desk and he stops, that naughty grin pulling up the corners of his mouth.

“Are we role playing?” he asks, laughing.

It’s true, I rarely dress like I actually own proper clothes for an office environment, but I was channeling my inner reporter today.

VAJWET: Mr. Cullen, we have an interview to do today.

Jasper: Will this interview include various demonstrations of you bent over my desk?

VAJWET: Only if you answer questions like a good boy.

Jasper: Well you know me and my southernly gentleman manners.

Jasper then moves around his desk, helps me to my feet and sits in his chair, pulling me back to sit in his lap.

VAJWET: Now, Jasper, you are Head of Technology, correct? Could you tell us a little about your job?

Jasper: That I am. I work mainly on the programming of the bots, mostly within the lab. My partner, Xander, works in the offices on the above floors as he runs the mainframe, but I get to do the….um, hands on work.

VAJWET: For those who can’t see you…can you clarify that wink you just gave me now?

Jasper: That means I work very closely with the team member who knows these computer systems backwards and forwards, and my hands on work consists of my hands on her ass, more often than not.

VAJWET: Just so we’re clear, Jasper is giving me a demonstration of this now, although I get that demonstration everyday, I am the team member who knows these computer systems backwards and forwards, after all. Moving on….I have a question from Apple, she wishes to know where you find your inner zen? She believes you are very even tempered.

Jasper: Well, I run when I’m feeling stressed and I jerk off to a lot of porn. Emmett has got quite the collection going. I think combined we could start a minor empire. And for the record, I don’t watch low quality youporn porn. I appreciate the effort people make but there’s something to be said for direction and proper lighting.

VAJWET: *coughs* So…there you have it…porn stress relief.

Jasper: Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy watching some with me last night…

VAJWET: Moving on….Apple also wants to know what you’re packing, I suspect she may secretly want a go around with a bot version of you….Edward has been rather prudish.

Jasper: Well, you tell me.

VAJWET: Jasper is now thrusting his length against me. Considering I am sitting on his lap…it’s very distracting. But it’s quite sizeable ladies….quite sizable. Magnum size…and then some.

Jasper: That’s what she said.

VAJWET: Unggghhh…….*coughs* Ummm…Right…So, we have some more questions for you…

Jasper: Shoot, my dear, I’d much rather get through them…I have other activities in mind…involving riding crops….

VAJWET is temporarily indisposed while dry humping the interviewee and making good use of his perfect lips. The interviewer breaks away and straightens her hair which has mysteriously been released from its perfect bun. Jasper grins innocently.

VAJWET: Yes, questions, Vicky wishes to know why it took you so long to go after your woman?

Jasper: Ahhh yes, I had a feeling that one was coming. Well, my girl is gorgeous and very aggressive, going after whatever she wants. I figured if there was some interest there…she would make the first move. And I do like a girl into dominance.

VAJWET: You are making it very hard to stay on track.

Jasper: I’d say I’m sorry but I’d be lying.

VAJWET: Anyways, Vix also wants to know what you really think of the bots? And what you thought of Jess fucking one that looked just like you.

Jasper: Well, the bots are ingenious, to be sure. The amount of time and energy we’ve put into them to turn them into a marketable product is quite inspiring. However, having Jess fuck one that looked just like me over fucking the REAL me….well….I can’t say I was happy about that.

VAJWET: Jealous, are we?

Jasper: Not anymore…that tight ass is mine whenever I want it now.

VAJWET: I think you have that backwards.

Jasper: Aren’t we working on your control issues, darlin’?

VAJWET: *huffs* Fine….speaking of, your southern charm, please tell us where this came from as your brothers don’t have a drop of it.

Jasper: I went to a private school and college in Texas while my brothers went up north. I learned quite a lot and picked up small things here and there.

VAJWET: Why is it that you went to a different school from Edward and Emmett?

Jasper: Just personal choice, Carlisle has always indulged us in whatever we wanted.

VAJWET: So, tell us a bit about your brothers and father.

Jasper: Hmm, Edward, I’m not sure what happened to him, Emmett and I tried to teach him properly but he somehow ended up as the biggest prude on the face of this earth. Although, I think he steals mine and Em’s porn when he thinks we don’t notice…I don’t even want to know what he does with them. He’s recently been rather depressing with his whole “I can’t be without Apple and why is she fucking this piece of machinery senseless” routine.

Emmett is pretty easy going. I swear you’d never know he had 2 PhD’s if you met him in a casual setting because he’s just a man of the people, but extremely smart. He’s also, thank god, pretty fun to be around as we’re basically into the same kinds of things.

Carlisle, well, he’s certainly changed a lot since mother died. I swear he used to blush at the word penis before and now he’d whip it out with no problem whatsoever. This whole project coming from him shocked us all to say the least, but it’s certainly been quite the experience.

VAJWET: You mentioned your mother, which brings us to our last question from Vicky: What do you think of your new mummy?

Jasper: *laughs* What, are they getting married now?

VAJWET: It’s probably just a matter of time, although I personally like living in fornication.

Jasper: *laughs again* Me too…speaking of, the maid called, she’s not sure what the bar hanging down from the ceiling is for.

VAJWET: Well, she wouldn’t…. “The Position” is confidential and copyrighted.

Jasper: As well it should be….you know no one but me can pull that off and get you to cum four times in a row…

VAJWET: Jesus….

Jasper: Are there any more questions?

VAJWET: I uh…umm….I….why?

Jasper: Because we’re not going to have time for them….

VAJWET was unable to finish the interview as it is very hard to write when bent over her boss’ desk and getting slammed into from behind….

Perhaps next time they should send Jess to interview another member of the team who can’t distract her so well….

An Interview With Daddy C...

I was perched on the end of Dirty Daddy C's desk, pencil in mouth, when the man himself entered hi office. On his first glance toward me, he seemed slightly puzzled. He adjusted his pants as he took in my appearance. From the long brown mac, to the writing pad in my hand, I was every inch the reporter I was supposed to be. With the exception of the red fuck me heels that were placed precariously on my feet.

I sighed dramatically, and crossed my legs, revealing my thigh-high white pull ups. His eyes widened and very slowly, he edged toward me.

VAJWET: Now, now, Mr. Cullen. We've got an interview to conduct.

Carlisle: Must we? I rather like the sight of you spread out on my desk...

VAJWET: Down boy. How about you let me ask you a few questions and then we'll talk about spreading me out on your desk?

Carlisle: You have a deal.

VAJWET: Good. So, Carlisle, when you hired your fuckawesome team of scientists, what did you envision for them?

Carlisle: When I hired my six, wonderful, beautiful girls, I envisioned a lot for them. I knew they were going to bring Cullen Robotics into the twenty first century.

VAJWET: Nicely put. How about the affect they would have on you personally, and on your sons?

Carlisle: Well, naturally, being such beautiful women, I knew all of my boys, especially Emmett and Jasper would most definitely appreciate such fine female forms. I, of course, was a little biased.

VAJWET: Just so everyone knows, Carlisle now has his hand on my thigh. Moving on, with the development of the Bot's now in place, JM would like to know, and these are her exact words: Where the fuck is her Edward Bot?

Carlisle: JM? I think I've heard of her before. Well, JM, we will be marketing the Bot's in the very near future, see Jenna for that information...she's very skillful.

VAJWET: Another question from insider here at Cullen Robotics, the wonderful Apple. She asks: Tell me, how do you keep your stamina up? I mean you are the father of three grown sons, so you're not an 18 year old anymore. How do you do it?

Carlisle: I work out, I jog, I eat healthily, and I fuck my partner six ways from Seattle at least once a day. Stamina is built, and unlike Edward, Apple, I build it on a regular basis. I doubt my son has very much stamina, to be honest. He was very sexually unfulfilled until recently.

VAJWET: You mean, until Apple entered his life?

Carlisle: Yes, I do, love.

VAJWET: How do you see your sons? Best characteristics? Worst?

Carlisle: Emmett is a very precocious young man. Full of the joys of spring, like a excitable little puppy when he sees a tasty little poodle. He's very hardworking, and I admire the way he just takes what he wants. On the other hand, he's hot headed and sometimes his temper gets the better of him.

Edward is my youngest son, but in my opinion, the one with the oldest mind. He worries about anything and everything. He lacks confidence, and until he met Apple, I had an inkling he may be gay. But again, like Emmett, he's very hardworking, and his genius makes me a proud father.

Jasper, my oldest, has the best leadership skills I have ever seen. He's committed, and takes control of situation, and defuses any tension very easily. That being said, he often wavers when faced with a female. Mainly Jess, but who wouldn't? The woman is a delight to look at.

VAJWET: What do you think of the Ladies of the Lab?

Carlisle: Well, I'm very biased when it comes to my girls. They are without a doubt, the very best in the business. I am very lucky have them on my team. Apple is a wonderful leader, Jess is very skillful when it comes to the robotic mainframe, Amber is a talented skin artist, Tammy developed the famous open programming which is a God send, Whitney is a genius when it comes to the motion programming of the Bot's , and of course Vicky. Now that one, she's definitely my favorite. She has the most fantastic tasting-

VAJWET: OK, swiftly moving on. JM asks: Jergens or Vaseline?

Carlisle: Which do you prefer sweetheart?

VAJWET: That depends, if it's...never mind. You're answering!

Carlisle: Jergens, most definitely. Although, I prefer KY...

VAJWET: What is your favorite part of a woman's body?

Carlisle: I like a nice set of lips. Pussy or otherwise. I prefer the former rather than the latter, of course. I also like a nice ass, be it clothed or unclothed. And a nice pair of breasts. Not to mention a smooth pair of legs.

VAJWET: So, pretty much all of a woman?

Carlisle: Darling, I've spent hour, upon hour worshiping every part of your body. How could I possibly choose?

VAJWET: All the girls wanna know, Carlisle. What are you packing?

The interview is temporarily halted as Carlisle whacks out his meat and flops it on the desk.

Carlisle: Care to measure it, yourself? With your tongue preferentially.

VAJWET was unable to complete the interview due to the reporter being indisposed...under Carlisle's desk.

They should have never sent Vicky to do the interview.

How The Cullen Sundae Began...

Carlisle Cullen, President of Cullen Robotics Inc.
(General activities include: Fucking, licking and taking his sexy scientist from behind.)

Edward Cullen, VP of Cullen Robotics Inc.
(General activities include: Reciting poetry, tender, exquisite sex and occasional bursts of caveman behavior.)

Jasper Cullen, Head of Technology, Cullen Robotics Inc.
(General activities include: Penetration, fornication, and spanking.)

Emmett Cullen, Head of Development, Cullen Robotics Inc.
(General activities include: Angry monkey sex, resulting in multiple orgasms. Also, witty, sex filled banter and extraordinarily good comebacks.)